The STORY

Why is it so easy for men to emotionally move on and disconnect from a relationship?
I'll let you in on a secret; men often don't move on easily from relationships, at all. In fact, if a man is in love with a woman who no longer wants to be with him, he can be heartbroken for years. You just won't be able to tell.
I’d like to tell you a story. Picture a long term couple who have just broken up. The woman, who has undoubtedly put all her energy into making her relationship work, is devastated. She tells her friends. She tells her family. She might spend night after night crying, externalising her grief, and generally having a difficult time. She's hurting, no doubt about it. But as time passes, the pain starts to ease. She is rediscovering her own inner strength, and with the help and support of her friends and family, she slowly realises that she doesn't need this man that she once loved. As time goes on, she manages to build a fulfilling life for herself once more. She has even met someone new; perhaps it's time to start again.
Meanwhile, the man is also heartbroken. He tells his friends. He tells his family. However, there are no tears. “I'll be right” he says. His friends decide to take him out for a night on the town; show him what he's been missing all these years. Before long, he's out partying and having a good time. Maybe he's having casual sex with strangers. Maybe he's dropping hundreds of dollars down at the strip club. Whatever; it looks like he's having fun, right?
He isn't having fun. He's doing anything and everything to try and have fun. He's doing everything to convince his friends, his family, himself, that he's having fun. He's treating women like toys now, throwing them away once he's lost interest and moving on to the next one. At least, that's what he wants you to think. It's what he wants to think.
In reality, he's trying to feel something that he once did; he's trying to get back what he's lost. “I miss having sex, therefor I will go and find a stranger to have sex with” he thinks. But it's not the same. He doesn't know why it's not the same, because he dares not explore his feelings long enough to find out. Because if he does, the ugly truth will present itself. That all this meaningless sex and partying isn't filling the void that is still left behind. That his drinking buddies and loose women are good for a cheap thrill, but none of these people will ever love him like she did.
For a moment, he considers the possibility of trying to setttle down again. To find love again. But love isn't easy, and carries the risk of more heartbreak and rejection. He tries his luck at dating again, but he quickly learns that now, he isn't as young as he once was. That now, people of his age group have already figured out what he's just starting to grasp. That a woman will settle not just for a man, but the life that comes with him. If only he had spent the last few years building a life worthy of sharing with someone, instead of pointless partying and sleeping around. It seemed so much easier back then; meeting a girl and falling in love. But he learns that now, there is nothing special that would make a woman fall in love with him over the countless guys he is competing with. Feeling defeated, he gives up, vowing instead to find fulfilment in other areas of his life. As each day passes, he knows the chance of finding love again is getting smaller and smaller, but paradoxically, he also knows now that he still has a lot of growing to do before love will find him. He may never figure it out.
You might not agree with any of what I've written, but I know this story is true because the woman in it is someone I know. The man, is me.